


Not Quite Tabletop

by MissILikeTooManyFandoms



Series: Creampuff Week January 2015 [7]
Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: F/F, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-18
Updated: 2015-01-18
Packaged: 2018-03-08 01:03:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3189965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissILikeTooManyFandoms/pseuds/MissILikeTooManyFandoms
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Carmilla stumbles in on the gang playing Dungeons and Dragons. As usual, insanity ensues.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not Quite Tabletop

**Author's Note:**

> Late second entry for the prompt Giants and Elves. Sorry for the delay. Moved back in today.

Her last lecture had, as expected, been abysmally boring and redundant but had let out early, allowing Carmilla to pick up a few things before she was expected back in room 307. She strode down the hall, a six-pack of grape soda, a package of cookies, and a large cheese pizza in hand, her pace quickening embarrassingly as she neared the room she shared with the tiny girl who had stolen her heart. Carmilla ended her disgustingly sappy train of thought with _no, a heart freely given_ and attempted to enter the room looking as disaffected as possible, despite her being eager to see her girlfriend’s reaction to her treats. It appeared, however, that a party was already in full swing.

“Forgot to tell me something, cutie?” The vampire looked on in contempt and poorly veiled confusion. The “Dimwit Squad” as Carmilla liked to refer to them was assembled, sitting in the space between the beds, pieces of paper in front of each of them while LaFontaine flipped hurriedly through a thick, shiny book. A few other books were stacked behind them.

“Oh, uh, hi, Carm!” Laura’s nervous greeting sent Carmilla’s eyebrow on a journey to her hairline. LaFontaine turned to throw a greeting over their shoulder but their eyes lit up at the box in the vampire’s arms.

“Oh, sweet! Pizza!” They jumped up and reached for the pizza, only to be stopped by Carmilla’s glare. “Or. Um. Yeah. Nice vampire.”

“Relax, dead girl.” Carmilla’s mood plummeted immediately. With a particularly vicious glare toward, Danny, she shoved the box of pizza into the biology major’s arms before quickly ridding herself of the other items she had purchased, the soda in the fridge with a slam and the cookies dropped into Laura’s lap as she threw herself on to her bed. Laura winced as her favorite treat landed on her legs, but not from the pain. She just seemed to always make plans when Carmilla decided to surprise her.

“What are you idiots up to? Intense study party?”

“Dungeons and Dragons.” Perry chirped helpfully, moving over to allow LaFontaine to return to their place beside her, pizza box in hand, a piece dangling from their mouth.

“You can’t be serious. Buttercup, she’s kidding, right?” Carmilla sighed as Laura ducked her head. Everyone shuffled their papers and nibbled on pizza, refusing to look at the couple.

“Want to play?” Laura looked up, resting her head on the vampire’s bed while she looked up at her. She was not actually expecting any sort of response further than an eye-roll but she figured she was obligated to ask.

“Sure.”

“Really?! Great!” Carmilla, for a moment, thought that she should be offended by her girlfriend’s surprise but she settled on a smirk.

“Wait. No. Laura, this took forever we can’t just-,” an elbow from Perry changed LaFontaine’s tune, “I mean wonderful. Awesome. The more the merrier, right?”

“Do you even know how to play?”

“If you’re playing, it can’t be that difficult, Xena.” Danny glared while Carmilla’s smirk widened.

“Alright! Great! So you need a character, Carm.”

“Make me whatever you want, cupcake.” The vampire grinned while Laura squealed and snatched up a piece of a paper. “Can I be a vampire?” Laura froze, pen hovering over her page. “What?”

“We’re playing Doctor Who Dungeons and Dragons.” Laura glared at LaFontatine while Carmilla valiantly fought off the urge to laugh.

“You can be a vampire. Mircalla the vampire.” Said vampire groaned while Laura grinned, furiously scribbling down the new character.

“Hey! If she can be a vampire, why can’t I be an elf?”

“Elven archer? Are you serious, Danny?”

“LaF, we’re walking down a narrow corridor and the flashlight went out. You have no room to talk.”

“There aren’t any elves in Doctor Who!”

“Okay, that’s not fair, how do we know? There’s no way that in all of time and space there have never been any elves-“

“ALRIGHT! ENOUGH! Fine, Danny, you can be an elf.” Danny grinned at Laura, who had looked up briefly to stop the argument they had already had half an hour prior from beginning again, but was busy staring down at Carmilla’s character sheet, tongue between teeth.

“This is going to take forever.”

“Good. Take the time to come up with some better scenarios.”

“Are you challenging my authority as dungeon master?”

“Let’s just all calm down and enjoy the pizza that Carmilla so generously brought.” The dueling redheads simply stared at the Floor Don before shrugging and snagging pieces. Carmilla rolled her eyes at the trio while she played with her girlfriend’s hair. Laura was furiously rolling and re-rolling the di while she filled in the numbers for Mircalla’s attributes.

“Do you want a weapon?”

“The Blade of Hastur.”

“This is a game, crushes on journalists, not real life and besides we don’t have the stats on that.”

“Fine, give me a sword or something.”

“Why would a vampire need a sword?”

“Danny, your elf has a broadsword and a bow. That’s ridiculous.” Danny and LaFontaine were back to glowering at each other while Perry leapt up.

“I bet the brownies are done!” She hurried from the room, desperately hoping she would not return to an all-out brawl.

“Laura has a screwdriver.”

“Hey! It’s a _sonic_ screwdriver and I’m The Doctor. The Doctor doesn’t carry weapons.” Laura paused in her nearly terrifyingly quick scribbling to defend her female incarnation of her favorite character.

“Laura, tell your girlfriend not to eat the dice.”

“What?” The smallest of the party jerked her head, staring with mouth agape at Carmilla, the twelve sided dice nestled in her jaw behind her right canine.

“It looked…interesting.”

“Do you put everything you find ‘interesting’ in your mouth?”

“Well, if we count Laura-“

“Oh my god shut up right now.” Laura’s face had turned a brilliant shade of red while Carmilla snickered, her eyes bright with mischief as Danny gagged and LaFontaine grinned like an idiot.

“Seriously though, Drac, what are you four? Spit the damn thing out.” Carmilla did as commanded but launched the piece at Danny’s head, the now slick di hitting her forehead dead center. The vampire’s grin widened further when she realized that Laura had missed the entire exchange. “You are so dead.”

“Ten points to Gryffindor.” Danny’s jaw went slack at the reference while Laura’s head jerked up so she could beam at her girlfriend. Carmilla’s cleverness earned her a kiss, which only frustrated the gangly redhead across from her.

“Nice one.” LaFontaine held their fist out, grinning at the vampire. After a moment of consideration, Carmilla, surprisingly, returned the gesture.

“Seriously?”

“C’mon, Danny, that was a good one.”

“Whatever.” The trio sat in silence while Laura continued to write out the character sheet, Danny scowling while Carmilla played with the smaller girl’s hair.

A twenty sided di flew across the room, hitting Carmilla’s square in the eye.

“What the hell?”

“What is it, Carm?”

“Nothing, cupcake.” Carmilla glowered over Laura’s head while Danny smirked.

War erupted. Dice flew everywhere. Four sided dice. Six sided dice. Ten sided dice. Twelve sided dice. Every di they had gathered for the game was ammunition. The real casualty was the pizza, pieces pockmarked from constant impacts and littered with strange indentations. Perry returned with the brownies to find Carmilla, Danny, and LaFontaine streaked with pizza sauce and clutching their dice while Laura had retreated on to the vampire’s bed, leaning against the wall while she worked on the now pointless character sheet. The other, now scattered, character sheets were beaten and torn from the trio’s antics, stained with tomato sauce and grease. Even Perry’s once pristine folder had been hit.

“Can’t you all behave for more than five minutes?”

“Nope.” Carmilla and Danny offered each other small smiles as they answered in unison.

“Holy crap, Perr. Those brownies are ginormous!” Everyone scrambled over to the Floor Don and her industrial size pan. The treats were truly gargantuan, all at least eight inches in height. They had been carved into humanoid figures.“I’m a little worried. You’re not trying to pull a Mama Claus are you?” LaFontaine chuckled while their best friend rolled their eyes. “Seriously though, what are they?”

“Well, they were supposed to be elves, all in the spirit of the game you know? But I couldn’t get the ears quite right.”

“They’re huge! I bet one of them could take Laura down.”

“Hey!” Laura glared at Danny while she picked up one of the massive brownies. “Well, I think they’re cute.” She fought off Carmilla as the vampire attempted to take a bite of her brownie. “They’re giants! That’s in the spirit of the game too, right?” She placated her girlfiend’s desire for a taste with a kiss.

“Well, the spirit is all well and good but it looks like the game is a bust.” They all winced as they took in the destruction.

“Speaking of elves, let’s watch Lord of the Rings!”

“Oh my god, no, Danny, that will take all day.”

“Oooh! Giants! Let’s watch Harry Potter!” Everyone groaned.

“Why not Doctor Who?” Carmilla shrank a bit as everyone turned to gape at her. “What? It was Doctor Who whatever, right?” Laura beamed at her, offering her a leg of the mostly mangled brownie in her hand. She took it with a smile, pulling Laura closer with an arm around her waist. The remaining three looked at each other for a moment before shrugging.

“Danny, I swear to god if you ask ‘is that an elf?!’ one more time I will sic Carmilla on you.”


End file.
